Expectations: The Name of The Game

There were twenty-two gas stations between Metropolis and Smallville.

The Metroline stations were the best, accounting for twelve of the stations along Route 90. LuthorCorp had acquired a substantial interest in Metroline recently, so Lex found it amusing to stop there. One of his father's big ideas, spending your money at home, invest in yourself. Lex had been forced to listen to the whole book on CD just a year ago.

Stopping at Metroline station, you could get the best gourmet coffee, bagels, chips, pop, and candy. The restrooms were spotchecked for cleanliness every hour, and both the Men's and the Women's restrooms had diaper changing areas.

Today, Lex had stopped the minivan at every single Metroline station. The ritual was invariably the same. Clark would get out, run to the Men's room in a flash, his flip-flops clucking at the speed of sound, leaving the people filling their gas tanks wondering if indeed, they had seen a very pregnant looking, yet still beautiful, young man. Lex and Lexine would follow him in about every fourth station, just to check Lexine's diapers and get Lex more coffee.

Clark would get a pop, caffeine-free, of course, and they would climb back into the minivan. Lex would pull back out onto Route 90 and they would continue on to the next Metroline station. Every second station, Clark would get something to eat. Every third station, he would throw it up.

All in all, it was a very tired Lex Luthor who pulled the purple minivan up to the gate of the Kent's yellow farmhouse.

Clark was already halfway up the stairs when Jonathan and Martha came out onto the porch. They got out of the way as their pregnant son made his way with single-minded intent toward the bathroom.

Martha joined Lex quickly at the side door of the minivan, getting her hands on her granddaughter with a ruthlessness that Lex's inner Luthor could appreciate. She gave Lex a peck on the cheek and took her prize into the house, leaving Jonathan and Lex to follow her.

 Thinking back twelve years, Lex remembered his first impression of Smallville: hell. Looking into the face of Jonathan Kent, Lex knew he had been right the first time.

"Hello, Jonathan."

"Lex. How're Clark and the babies doing?"

"Dr. Marston said everything looks good, for Clark being male and being pregnant with three babies at once."

"Well, whose fault is that?" Jonathan turned around and glowered at him. Lex pondered this. Picking one answer, he reconsidered. Jonathan had awfully long arms. However, Lex was pleased to notice that the pink diaper bag made Jonathan look a bit less imposing.

"I don't like to think of the babies, any of them, as anyone's fault."

Jonathan looked taken aback, for they both knew that however much the whole pregnant-son-Luthor-baby-gay-alien-pregnant-again thing bothered him, he still adored Lexine. "You still should have been more careful."

Well, there was that. After all, one could only expect that after ten years of unprotected and monogamous sex that one's boyfriend would announce that he was pregnant. "Yes, only an idiot wouldn't have seen this coming," Lex said, brushing by Jonathan to enter the house.

Martha was sitting at the kitchen table with Lexine in her arms, talking baby talk of a truly precious variety. Clark was just emerging from the downstairs bathroom, a relieved look on his face, as Lex sat down next to them.

"She's getting so big," she said, a delighted grin on her face as she played peek-a-boo with her granddaughter.

Clark grinned back at his mother and nodded. He unfastened one shoulder of his overalls, and pulling the t-shirt up, revealed the nursing bra. A quick flip of the catch and he opened a cup. Reaching for Lexine, he took his daughter gently and started to nurse, letting her rest on his swollen belly. Martha watched with the same stunned look she had had since the Lexine's birth.

Jonathan, behind Lex, made a choking noise. "I need to go out to the barn," he said, putting the diaper bag on the table and turning on his heel.

Clark looked at his father's back as the door slammed, and Lex sighed softly. Getting up, he went over to Clark and put his arms around his lover and his daughter, hugging gently, kissing the top of Clark's dark head.

"It's okay, Clark."

"But. He." Clark started to sniffle.

"Don't worry about it, Clark, he's just emotional about seeing you and Lexine," Martha soothed.

Lex nodded at Martha and kissed Clark again, stroking the soft hair on the top of Lexine's little head. Since there was no way he was going to let Clark have this discussion with his father, Lex started out to the barn.

"Jonathan?"

"My son is breastfeeding. In my kitchen. From his own breasts."

"It's not like you can rent them. Well, you can rent them, but not really in the same way..."

"Lex! He shouldn't have... breasts!"

"For god's sake, he's an alien. What do you want me to tell you, Jonathan?"

Jonathan turned around and sat heavily down on the tool table. "How could you knock him up again?"

"How was I to know he was that fertile?"

Jonathan snorted. "Don't blame this all on him!"

Lex sighed. "Would you just get over it? He's your son, he's an alien, he's gay, he's pregnant. Amazingly, none of these things are particularly anyone's fault. We're happy about the babies. Freaked out, yes. Hell, I'm driving a goddamned minivan and listening to Clark sing Barney's greatest hits. But we're happy, Jonathan. And I swear to god, if you don't act happy, I will make sure you spend every holiday from now until death in the company of my father."

"My son is *breastfeeding*, Lex."

"Well, maybe you should have let him play football, huh? And seriously, it's not healthy for a grown man to be obsessed with his son's breasts and lactation habits."

Jonathan's reply was cut off as they turned at the snuckering-clucking sound of the flip-flops. Lex gave Jonathan a warning look before turning a smile on Clark as he walked, awkwardly, through the door. Martha trailed in behind him, Lexine sleeping in her arms.

"Guys? Are you okay?'

"We're fine, son. How are you feeling?"

"Better. Tired." He looked at Lex. "Can we go home? I'd like to sleep for a bit, and the bed here really isn't... big enough."

"Of course." Lex looked over at Martha. "Would you guys like to bring Lexine tonight when you come for dinner?"

Martha's smile was brilliant, and even Jonathan looked pleased at the idea.

"We'd love to," she said, smiling down at the little face.

"I've expressed some milk," Clark told his father on the way out to the cars.

"Expressed?"

"Yeah, with the... pump," Clark whispered softly, shuffling his feet noisily.

Jonathan turned his attention to getting the car seat from the minivan and putting it into the back seat of Martha's car. "Okay, we can deal with that."

Clark looked relieved.

"Just don't put it in your latte, Jonathan," Lex teased as he helped Clark into the minivan. "It tastes okay, but you feel weird."

Jonathan gaped at them as Lex got into the driver's seat, and with a wave, pulled out.

"Do you think they'll be okay, Lex?" Clark asked, looking out the back window at his parents and daughter.

"They'll be fine, Clark. What could happen? This is Smallville."

"Lex!"

"They'll be fine, Clark. We'll see them in a couple of hours, don't worry."

Clark sighed, and Lex watched as he turned the chair around and faced forward, his eyelids falling. "It'll be okay." Lex heard him whisper to himself.

"Clark, come on, your parents just pulled up." Lex moved from the window to stand in the doorway of the master bath.

"I'll just be a few more minutes," Clark called from the shower.

Lex had pulled him out of bed a fifteen minutes ago, but Clark had been groggy and grumpy. The babies had started kicking the moment Clark had fallen onto the bed, apparently preparing for a match against Manchester United, and Clark had taken forever to get comfortable enough to fall asleep.

"I'm going to go down, you'll be okay?"

"We'll be fine," Clark replied from the other side of the glass shower door.

Shaking his head, Lex headed down to the small dining hall off the game room.

When the Kents were led in, Lex handed Jonathan a scotch and Martha a gin and tonic, taking Lexine from her grandmother. Lexine looked happily contented, her eyes cracking open a bit, and after giving her father a downright assessing stare, she closed her eyes and inserting her thumb in her mouth, settled in for a nap.

"Hey guys," Clark called from the doorway as he entered, and Lex looked up to see his lover, dressed in his finest... muumuu.

Tonight, Clark was wearing a muumuu that Lex considered marginally better than the others; colorful parrots against the green fabric, instead of the usual pineapples, making it a bit more acceptable. There was just something wrong about a seven-month pregnant gay man wearing fruit on his muumuu, Lex had always thought, philosophically speaking. The flip-flops snucker-clucked as he crossed the room, getting himself a glass of cranberry juice from the bar.

Jonathan had been staring at his son since he had appeared in the doorway, gaping as Clark crossed the room. Too late, Lex remembered that the last time the Kents had visited them in Metropolis Clark hadn't quite been in the muumuu phase. Crap.

"Geez, Lex. Why didn't you tell us we were having a luau? I would have worn my lei."

From Martha's expression, Lex was pretty sure a lei was the last thing Jonathan was going to get when they got home tonight.

"It's the latest in male maternity wear," Lex informed them. "It's comfortable."

Martha nodded and looked at her empty glass forlornly. Jonathan was looking a bit green.

It was the perfect time to sit down to dinner.

That night, Lexine safely in her crib in the room next door, matching sets of baby monitors on Lex and Clark's night tables, they settled in for bed.

Lex was reading the newspaper he hadn't gotten a chance to read since leaving Metropolis, while Clark was reading more baby books. Finishing the business section, Lex grabbed the hard copy of the email that his father sent just before he had gone down to dinner.

"My dad sent another list of baby names."

"More emperors?"

"Gordian. Maximus. Vespasian. God, he's predictable."

"Have you told him the names we picked so far?"

"Are you kidding? And have to listen to him complain?"

Taking his bookmark out, Clark read the names they had chosen so far. "Julian Linoleum. Lex, I understand Julian, but Linoleum?"

"It's my dad's name."

"Your dad is named after flooring?"

"Grandpa Leonard was a sociable drunk, and apparently filled out the birth certificate when he was loaded. He couldn't think of a name, so he took one off of an invoice that was sitting on a desk."

Clark snorted. "Lionel Luthor's name is really Linoleum Luthor?"

Lex smiled. "Yes."

"Well, as long as we call him Julian, I'm okay with it." He read the next name on the list. "Clexiel Peter." Clark smiled. "Pete was thrilled to hear that. And last, but not least, Jonatha Bokenta."

"I still don't get the Bokenta."

"It's something on the tablet from Krypton. It means very close family."

"Inbreeding?"

"No!" Clark reconsidered. "Well, I don't think so, anyway."

"Well, if we use Linoleum, I guess we can use Bokenta."

 Clark nodded and folded the paper back up and put it in his book.

Lex tossed his papers to the floor and turned off his light, fluffing his pillow up and settling in. "Ready to sleep?"

"Yeah," Clark said, putting his book on the night stand, turning off his own light after checking the indicators on the baby monitor. "This book was telling about how in some cultures it's not uncommon to nurse babies until they're five or six."

Lex opened an eye and looked into Clark's as they arranged themselves on the bed, Clark on his back, Lex curling around him. "There is no way in hell you are nursing the kids when they're five."

"It's supposed to be good for them."

"Kansas, Clark. It'd get you arrested."

Clark sighed. "I guess."

Lex leaned over and kissed him gently. "Sleep. We'll talk about it all in the morning, okay?"

Clark pulled Lex back into the kiss, finally letting him go only so he could take a breath. "Okay. Night, Lex."

"Night, Clark."