Expectations: The Wedding

The morning of Clark and Lex's wedding dawned mild and sunny. After cleaning up and getting dressed, and Clark's morning checkup with Toby, they joined the rest of the party out in the court for breakfast. It was just after nine, which was a late breakfast for many of them when they were back home, but yesterday's travels had allowed most of them to sleep in. While Jonathan looked bereft without his cows, everyone else seemed excited about the day to come.

While Lexine napped, everyone ate and talked, as employees of the resort moved back and forth, the preparations for the post wedding luau long since started. They were halfway through the meal, everyone but Clark, who was sulking about it, drinking freshly roasted Kona coffee, when Lionel emerged from his cabana.

He was dressed in his informal clothes, business-suit colored silk and linen. He strolled out to the court like he owned it, which he did, and took a seat next to Chloe.

"Ahh, Son," he said, looking at Lex. Turning slightly to look at Clark, he grinned sharkily. "And Son!"

Jonathan choked on a piece of mango, forcing Whitney to get out of his chair to slap him on the back.

Lionel looked even more self-satisfied, if possible. For some reason, the look caused both Lex and Clark to look down at Lexine, who was still sleeping peacefully, Nicolo's ears in her mouth. They stared at each other for a moment, then shook the mutual thought off.

"What time did you get in?" Lana asked, trying to smooth the moment over as Whitney took his seat now that Jonathan was breathing normally again.

"Just after four am." As usual, Lionel looked barely fazed by almost a full day of traveling. He helped himself to coffee and fruit, taking some toast when it was brought to him by one of the waiters.

"Did you bring your friend?" Clark asked.

Lionel nodded as a woman's voice spoke.

"This is a lovely setting for a wedding, Lionel, you were right. Though, I would have added a bit of lace to the canopy."

Lex and Clark turned around at the sound of the somewhat familiar voice, trying to place it, and this time it was Martha who started to choke on a bite of pineapple. The woman continued on as they all stared at her.

"A little lace is such a nice accent on wedding decorations. It's a good thing," Martha Stewart said, smiling at the wedding party all of whom, with the exception of Lionel, were staring, unblinkingly, at her in shock.

Lexine started to cry.

Later that afternoon Clark and Lex were back in their cabana, starting to get ready for the ceremony. The rest of breakfast had passed in near silence as everyone had gaped at Martha Stewart. While everyone else had gone on a tour of the Orchid fields that were adjacent to the resort, Martha Stewart had stayed behind to interrogate the waiter on things like china patterns and flatware cleaning. She had been looking at the canopy again when they left, saying that she had some good Brussels lace with her. Toby was the only other person to stay behind. He had paled when Martha Stewart had shown up, and was still staring at her as she walked around the court, ordering people about, when they left.

Lex was wondering if Toby was having a bad trip, but like Nebraska, didn't want to know.

Lionel had gone back to the resort for lunch while the rest of them had enjoyed a meal at the restaurant just outside the fields. No one had yet mentioned Martha Stewart and Lionel. Lex figured that most of them were pondering the end times, maybe they hadn't thought they'd be in Hawaii when the rapture came.

But now he and Clark were on their bed in the cabana, a relaxing after a cool shower, wearing fluffy robes and nothing else. The ceremony was set to start soon, Lexine, already dressed in her little blue and pink muumuu, was in her playpen discussing her wedding ceremony strategy with Nicolo. A purple bow was ready to be tied around her head. Martha had given Lionel permission to hold the baby during the ceremony, with the warning that if Lexine ate any of the flowers on the lei, Martha would dismember him and hide the pieces.

Martha Stewart had taken that opportunity to tell the group her thoughts on wood chipper maintenance and the proper mulching procedures for all planting zones.

Clark was on his side, facing Lex, his eyes carefully tracing his soon-to-be husband's face. Lex, for his part, was doing much the same thing.

Clark reached out a finger and slid it over Lex's bottom lip, shivering when Lex wrapped his tongue around it and sucked it into his mouth. When Clark pulled his finger free and traced the scar on Lex's mouth, he started to speak.

"Don't," Lex said before Clark could say a word. "I don't want to even think about my father and Martha Stewart and the clear indication that this is the end of the world."

"But..."

"No."

Clark smiled lovingly and rolled away, awkwardly pushing himself off the bed.

Lex tried, and failed, not to breathe a sigh of relief. He got up and gently rubbed Clark's lower back, smirking as Clark rubbed against him like a big cat.

"Sit," he told Lex as he went over to the table.

Lex sat down on the corner of the bed, resting his head against the triplets as Clark rubbed sunscreen over his head, thoroughly covering the skin. Sliding around the shell of his ears, pushing Lex back to slide the SPF 65 over his face, humming softly as Lex shivered with every touch.

When Clark was satisfied that no stray ultraviolet beam could touch Lex, he pulled his lover up with a soft kiss. It was time to get ready for their wedding.

Clark was getting ready in their bedroom, since getting dressed was more of a production for him. Lex was getting ready in Lexine's room. He quickly changed into his light purple silk shirt and charcoal silk pants. It wasn't a big change from his everyday clothes, really, but the cut of the shirt and pants allowed the silk to slide fluidly across his skin as he moved. He looked out the window onto the courtyard and saw the rest of their guests were already assembled.

"Clark?" Lex called as he knocked on the door to their room. Some of Jonathan's wedding folk tales must have been praying on Clark's mind, because he had decided that he didn't want Lex to see him before the ceremony once they were dressed. He had whapped Lex gently on the shoulder when Lex asked him if he had decided he wanted to be the bride. Lex would have to baby the shoulder until the bruise healed.

"I'm good. You're going to take Lexine with you?" Clark yelled from the other side of the closed door.

"Your mom has the flowers, we'll go get ours."

"Okay," Clark said, and Lex could have sworn he heard the words 'it's a good thing', but he was ignoring enough things this weekend, another few dozen wouldn't add anything to the pain.

Lex picked Lexine up out of her playpen and put the bow on her head, making sure it was at the proper, rakish angle. He stood in front of the large oval mirror holding Lexine. She looked at their reflection, and her little eyes narrowed. Lex looked again and adjusted Lexine's muumuu so the flowers were straight and she gave him a toothless, but devastating smile.

Lexine took a long look toward the door to their room, then smiled and cooed. Lex followed her gaze and looked at her thoughtfully. "Ready to go, see your daddies get hitched, Lexine?" She bobbed her head as if she was agreeing. Stopping by the table to pocket the rings, they headed out to the courtyard.

Everyone was gathering in the courtyard, tiki torches burning brightly around the canopy and the table. Chloe and Lana looked lovely in silk dresses; Lana's was a light teal, while Chloe's was a deep magenta. The men were dressed similarly to Lex. Jonathan was dressed in a muted red shirt and lei that matched Martha's deep green dress perfectly. Martha was glowing happily, a lei of white and blue orchids around her neck.

While Martha had ordered clothes for Lionel, she hadn't known that Martha Stewart would be joining them. Luckily, Lex thought snidely, Martha Stewart probably traveled with her own coterie of silk worms, and no doubt an entire sweatshop of laborers to sew her an appropriate dress.

Martha (Kent, not Stewart) was passing out the leis, and Julia had just arrived and was being welcomed by Pete and Lana. Chloe took Lexine from Lex and joined Pete and Lana, introducing Julia to the baby. Lionel left Martha Stewart's side, apparently bored as she told the waiter the proper way to fold the napkins, and strolled over to Lex, turning to look at the setting with a much more critical eye.

"I received a call from my lawyers' office when I was in Brussels."

Lex knew what was coming, but he decided to play the game anyway. "Oh?"

"Lex, do you really think you should do something this ... ridic... radical without protecting your assets? Not to mention the company's assets?"

"Dad, I hardly think that Clark is interested in marrying me solely to strip mine LuthorCorp."

Lionel turned to look at him. "I know he's always been more interested in stripping you, but this is my company we're talking about."

"No, this is my wedding you're talking about."

"Lex, Alexander the Great..."

"Dad," Lex interrupted, "no Alexander the Great stories today. No Sun Tzu, Machiavelli, Freud, or Oprah. Clark and I are getting married and we're not signing anything more than the marriage license."

Lionel sighed. "I could withhold the trusts."

Lex turned, his eyes narrowing. "You could. But I'm sure you'd rather see Lexine again, and the triplets once they're born. We're not going to use the children to play this little game. Manipulate your business rivals, don't ever try to do it with my children. You try, I'll leave LuthorCorp and you'll never see the kids again."

"Don't threaten me, Lex."

"Don't threaten my children. Or my husband."

Lionel took a sheaf of papers from his pocket and sighed, tipping one folded corner into a tiki torch. The paper started to burn and Lionel put it into a large crystal ashtray on a small table next to the torch. "I hope you know what you're doing, son. A gamble like this... Who knows how Hephaestion is going to react after giving birth to the triplets."

Lex started to reply, but Clark coming up the walkway from their cabana captured his attention.

In a flowing, white muumuu.

There was a shimmer under the muumuu, and Lex realized there must be a lining, since Clark wasn't wearing underwear.

And wasn't that a thought conducive to a dignified wedding.

Taking a deep breath, Lex ignored his father and moved to Clark's side, thinking deep thoughts about the whole life changing aspect of marrying his boyfriend.

Who was wearing a muumuu. And maybe a slip. And looked damn good in it.

Jonathan had reached Clark first, and Lex could hear what he was saying as he walked up. "Clark, are you sure? We can still leave if you want."

Before Lex could whack his future father-in-law over the head with a tiki torch, Clark replied. "Of course I'm sure," he said, ducking so Martha could slide his lei over his head.

Jonathan sighed, but apparently he had run out of gay wedding related platitudes for the time being.

When everyone had their leis, and Chloe had surrendered custody of Lexine to Lionel, it was time to begin. Clark and Lex took their place under the canopy, their friends gathering around them. Lionel stood just behind them so Lexine could see, Jonathan and Martha next to Clark, while the rest formed a semi circle behind them. Toby managed to stand next to Martha Stewart, who gave him an uncertain look before turning her attention back to the ceremony.

Clearing her throat, Julia began. "I'm glad we could all be here today, to celebrate the wedding of Clark and Lex, their parents and children," she said as she gestured to Lexine, then to Clark's belly. "Marriage is an important step, and it's wonderful to see Clark and Lex's families taking such a loving interest in this wedding."

Lex could have sworn his father snorted, but he turned his attention back to Julia.

"Clark, do you take Lex for your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish, 'til death do you part?"

Clark wore a determined look. "I do."

Martha sniffled into her Vera Wang silk handkerchief.

"Lex, do you take Clark for your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish, 'til death do you part?"

Lex smiled into the green eyes that were searching his. "I do."

There was a whimpering sound, in stereo from Jonathan and Lionel. Lexine piped up with a cooing "Daddas".

"Do you have the rings?" Julia asked, ignoring the fathers of the grooms.

Lex pulled them out of his pocket and handed them to Julia. She handed the larger of the two rings to Lex, and placed Clark's hand in his.

"Repeat after me, Lex. With this ring, I thee wed."

"With this ring, I thee wed," Lex parroted, sliding the ring onto Clark's finger. Clark stared at it for a moment, then raised his eyes, a shimmer in their depths.

Julia handed the other ring to Clark and put Lex's hand in his. "Repeat after me, Clark. With this ring, I thee wed."

Clark sniffled slightly, but held onto Lex's hand tightly. "With this ring, I thee wed." The slide of warm platinum and gold, and Lex heard another sigh from their fathers, and Chloe and Lana followed Martha into tears.

Julia was smiling at them. "By the authority vested in me by the state of Hawaii, I pronounce you husbands. Congratulations."

Lex started to turn to thank her, but Clark pulled him close, and the velocity and the triplets forced all the air out of his lungs, leaving him gasping as Clark hugged him tightly. When he could breathe again, after Clark realized that this wasn't the time for erotic asphyxia, he saw that Lexine was looking at them with utter satisfaction, even if her grandfathers were looking a little melancholy.

Arm in arm, Lex and Clark led their guests to the table for the luau. At a nod from the resort director, a line of hula dancers began to dance.

The wedding luau was in full swing, even Martha Stewart had stopped lecturing long enough on the proper way to preserve their leis to admire the feast. The table was brimming with traditional fare, like Kalua Pig, a whole pig roasted in an imu, or underground oven; a heaping plate of chicken long rice; steamed beef lau lau; a huge platter of Lomi Lomi salmon; not to mention the puddings like the coconut flavored Haupia.

Martha Stewart looked over at Lex as he picked up a bowl of purple poi and looked for a spoon.

"So, Lex. Which technique do you prefer? 'One finger', 'two fingers', or 'three fingers'?"

Lex almost dropped the bowl as he whipped around to stare at his father's guest. Clark's eyes were huge and he dropped his fork with a clatter onto his plate. He hadn't looked this hunted since a particularly nasty group of mutants had decided to spin webs of slime all over downtown Metropolis in an effort to catch Superman as he flew through the city.

Martha Stewart was once again the center of attention.

Lex recovered first. "I beg your pardon?"

"Do you like it smooth enough that you have to use three fingers, or do you like it thick enough that one will do? Personally, I've always thought right down the middle with two fingers was a good thing."

Clark's hand under the table stroked his knee, and Lex pondered exactly how to reply. "Kind of a personal question, don't you think?"

A shadow of confusion passed over Martha Stewart's face, but she soon recovered, her school marm attitude returning in full force. "Well, you can get a good overview of all three techniques in the next issue of my magazine, Martha Stewart Living."

"The Porno version?" Lex asked as Martha Stewart frowned in confusion.

Lionel apparently had some mercy in what passed for his soul for his companion, and leaned over and whispered into her ear. She looked annoyed at first, then nodded slowly. When Lionel leaned back, stroking his beard, Martha Stewart looked around the table. "Yes, next month is our all Hawaii issue. Things like how to determine which method of poi-eating you should use, since that's the way Poi is categorized; by how many fingers you eat it with."

"Oh," Lex said, still non-plussed. He considered for a minute, but in the end, couldn't resist. "I think I'm a three fingers kind of guy. Get it all in at once and all."

Jonathan looked not at all amused as the rest of the table followed Clark into a blush. Except for Martha Stewart, of course, and Toby, who had gone into his own little world at the mention of a porno issue of Martha Stewart Living magazine.

Lexine, who was sitting in her high chair between her fathers, began to giggle. Lex looked at her in surprise, not wanting to believe that she was already versed in gay sex jokes, even advanced as she was, being a Luthor. Looking down, he saw white and black fur, a curious face, and two little horns.

"Clark?"

Clark put down the sparerib he had been gnawing on and looked at Lex. "Yes?"

"Did your father, by any chance, bring a goat with him?" Lex replied, looking down at the goat, currently nibbling on Lexine's little white shoes.

The curious animal moved up to butt at Lexine's outstretched hands, and she giggled happily. When the goat was close enough for her to grab, she tried, but the goat retreated.

Little though she was, Lexine could howl with the best of them when she wanted something. Staring at the goat, who was staring back at her suspiciously, Lexine proceeded to scream until Lex picked her up and slowly moved toward the goat. The animal allowed itself to be petted gently.

Her concentration almost frighteningly focused, Lexine petted the goat, a look of calculating joy in her eyes.

"Sparky!" A voice said, as one of the hotel's workers ran up to where Lex, Lexine, and the goat were standing. "I'm so sorry, sir," the young man apologized. "Sparky is one of the goats we keep to eat the lawn, he must have chewed through his rope."

Lex smiled reassuringly at the man, slowing pulling Lexine back, rocking her as he felt her working up to another howl. "Maybe we can see Sparky again tomorrow?" At the young man's nod, he lifted Lexine up and looked her in the eye. "Tomorrow, we can see the goat again, how's that, punkin?"

Lexine considered this, and after an unnervingly thoughtful moment, relented. With one last, longing look at the goat, Lexine allowed herself to be put back into her high chair as her four legged friend was pulled away by the frayed remains of his rope.

After the cake, papaya and vanilla buttercream with mango filling, complete with two grooms on a lacy cake topper, a space was cleared for dancing. The grooms were first; the dance slow and romantic, Clark in his flowing muumuu, Lex in his silks. They held each other, their triplets between them, pressing against Lex with every sway. Everyone was dancing by the end of the night, even Toby had gotten in two dances with Martha Stewart, but had spent most of the night was staring at her as she led Lionel around the dance floor. Lexine, not bothered by anything, was asleep in her carrier, no doubt dreaming of her new friend.

Lex and Clark were wrapped up in each other, so their guests didn't bother to wish them goodnight. By midnight, they were the only ones left on the dance floor. Martha was sitting at the table watching Lexine when their attention moved outside of each other.

Rings glinting in the light of the tiki torches, they walked hand in hand over to the table.

"Ready for bed?" Martha asked with an impish smile.

Clark ruined the moment with a huge yawn, but Lex just smiled at him, looking just the slightest bit fatuous. Lex picked up the carrier as Clark hugged his mother.

"Good night." Martha kissed Clark, then Lex, and stroked a hand over Lexine's curls.

"Night, Mom," Clark said as she disappeared down the walk. When they reached their own cabana, Clark put out a hand to stop Lex from opening the door. He took the keycard from Lex's free hand and opened the door. "Let's do this right." Without another word, he picked Lex, who was still carrying Lexine's carrier, up, and stepped over the threshold, grinning.

Lex gave him an irate look. "I thought we had decided that you were the bride?"

Clark snorted and looked down at his flowing white muumuu. "Lex..."

"Well, as long as we don't have to talk about poi."

Clark grinned as he unfastened the straps holding Lexine in the carrier. "Well, I think it's time we tried the three finger approach," he told Lex. "So we can compare techniques when the magazine comes out."

Lex started to laugh, and was still sputtering when Clark came out of Lexine's room and picked him up again, carrying him over the threshold of their room.

"Shush," Clark told him as his tongue slid over Lex's temples. "It's a good thing."

Lex started to laugh, but stopped when Clark closed the distance between their lips.

It was a good thing, after all.